


If You Miss Me, Kiss Me One More Time

by rensbarath



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, F/F, F/M, M/M, Post-Break Up, Reference to Eating Disorders, Renly has Commitment Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-10 03:41:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5569540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rensbarath/pseuds/rensbarath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Renly and Loras break up a mere few months after signing a two year lease on an apartment. To avoid having to face their families with the failure of their relationship, they decide to stay friends and keep living together. This would be a whole lot easier if they were actually over each other. </p><p>Efforts to coexist with and move on from each other result in disaster. This is a post break-up slow burn about two people who refuse to accept that they still love each other. In an effort to prove he's over Loras, Renly starts sleeping with other people, which ignites the competitive spirit in Loras in addition to jealousy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based vaguely on a tumblr post. The tumblr post said
>
>> "pls give me we’re exes who ended on kind of shitty terms but are trying to ‘stay friends’ anyway, and we occasionally sabotage each other’s dates, get drunk and fuck, scream and fight until four in the morning and still refuse to acknowledge maybe we’re not quite as over each other as we like to think we are.”
> 
> This is the first fic I've written a super long time and the first one ever for Game of Thrones. I wanna thank Rastafarian Targaryen here on AO3 for getting my butt in gear to write it. It has not been betaed.
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr as amanomii.

“I can’t do this anymore, Renly! It’s your family and reputation or me! You have to fucking choose!” Loras screamed from across the room, fists clenched and jaw set. His hair flew everywhere, wild and frizzy without product. Renly, too, was disheveled, hair out of place and dark eyes as cold as Loras’ were fiery-light. There were pillows and clothing strewn about the room, the few framed photos the two had of each other broken against the wall. They had been fighting for hours, and despite the vein pulsing in Renly’s neck and the way Loras seemed poised to throw a punch, their shoulders had started to droop with exhaustion.

“You know I can’t do that! I get that you want to be my priority, but right now my career has to be the biggest thing. I love you, but we’ve been having this fight for months.” Renly’s voice wasn’t loud, though he was angry. His muscles were taught, contained like a spring ready to snap. But beneath that lurked defeat. This was a fight he knew he had already lost.

Loras sighed deeply, slumping a little, mouth falling. “Then I guess we’re over, huh?” he said quietly.

Renly sighed too, frowning, and said, “Yeah, I guess we are.”

Shaking his head, Loras stood there for a few more minutes. His face was still tense, as if he were waiting for Renly to say something else. His lower lip trembled the way it did when he wanted something he couldn’t have, as if he were about to throw one of the tantrums he was famous for. The fury had faded and been replaced by a sort of disbelief that was matched on Renly’s face. 

After staring at each other for a few minutes, waiting for the other to move, Loras stormed off to their bedroom and slammed the door. Seconds later, loud music played on the stereo and Renly couldn’t hear the noise he was sure Loras was making. 

Renly’s hands shook as he poured himself a shot of bourbon. Downing it in one swallow, heart pounding, his eyes were dry. There was a numb sort of feeling, a pressure growing in his chest that Renly just wasn’t used to, like it was constricted. Renly had gone through break ups before, but never with people who’d mattered as much as Loras. Renly had spent his life denying himself the right to feel vulnerable, looking up as he had to Robert and Stannis. He swallowed hard, took a few deep breaths, and thought he might cry.  
He poured himself another shot, moved to knock it back but hesitated. Shot glass still in his hand, he stumbled to the couch and fell into it. Renly looked around at the destruction wreaked by their hours-long fight. The normally tidy apartment was a wreck, broken glass and Renly’s clothes on the ground where Loras had thrown them. The two of them hadn’t vacuumed or swept in days, and the leaf-green carpet was dusty and the pastel-yellow designer couch unkempt.

After a half hour of sitting in silence and shock, listening to Loras’ muffled swears and sobbing under the sound of the Adele he was blasting to mask the noise. He took a deep breath, set the shot glass on the mahogany coffee table, and called Brienne.

“Bri? We broke up,” he said, already up and putting on his coat one-handed. He sat in his car for a few minutes, shaking gently before he could properly start his car and start to drive.

*******

By the time Renly arrived on Brienne’s doorstep, his hair somehow looked lank. Jaime was leaving, looking smug and superior and walking with a swagger. 

“Well, well, Baratheon, don’t you look nice. I see you’re the reason Brienne kicked me out of her bed so quickly,” he said, sneering.

“Fuck off, Jaime. I’m not in the mood,” he muttered, avoiding the Lannister’s eyes. Jaime stared him down, willing him to say something, to rise to his bait. Since he had started dating Brienne, fiery hatred had cooled to steely hostility, then warmed to a neutral sort of snarky banter. They could have good fun with each other, though both would deny it, but Renly wasn’t up for Jaime’s attitude. When it didn’t work, the blond shrugged and walked down the steps to his car. With a screech, he tore off down the street, rap music blaring out the open window.

Once Lannister’s noise had receded, Renly knocked on the door again. It was a nice place that Brienne lived, half of a duplex rented from the Starks. It was private, and had a yard, in a quiet enough neighborhood just outside the city. Painted a faint blue, with dark shutters and a lawn that was clean despite how young the people who lived there were. The apartment itself, despite its small size and unassuming furnishings, was immaculately clean. Brienne’s car, parked on the street, was sensible and small. As the door open to reveal his best friend, Renly shakily thought that perhaps Brienne was the only voice of reason in his life.

The door swung open to a blushing Brienne, still buttoning up her boyish collared shirt. Renly raised an eyebrow. “At least one of us had fun today,” he said wryly, looking at his feet. He was not crying, not even shaking anymore, but Brienne looked worried all the same. Quickly, she ushered him inside, bustling him to the couch and sitting next to him to listen. Renly didn’t say anything, just sat in silence, hands clasped in is lap.

Sitting on Brienne’s lumpy brown couch, Renly hunched his shoulders, seeming to curl in on himself. His steady breaths became shuddering, and sitting quietly on Brienne’s couch in Brienne’s humble but spotless apartment, Renly crumbled. He shut his eyes tightly, and Brienne wrapped an arm loosely around his shoulders. He hiccupped a few sobs, quiet and brief and restrained. She waited for him to say something, a silently comforting presence at Renly’s side as he regained control of his emotions.

Once he had quieted and managed to look up at her, face red and pinched, Brienne sighed and stood up. Holding out her hand for Renly to take, she said, “Would you like some coffee? I know it normally makes you feel better.”

“Yeah, actually. I think that’d be good. I drank two shots before I came here,” Renly said, looking sheepishly at her. He took her hand and stood up, but didn’t let go until they reached the kitchen and Brienne pulled it away to get the things together for coffee.

“So. What happened?” she asked briskly as she hustled around clumsily. It was not in Brienne’s nature to be coddling or too nurturing, which suited Renly perfectly. Like the rest of her house, Brienne’s kitchen was homey but meticulously clean, styled with dark, masculine colors.

“You can guess what happened. He told me to choose between him and my reputation, my family, my career. I wasn’t paying him enough attention, I didn’t want to meet his parents. He wanted to be my top priority, and I couldn’t give him that. Moving in with him wasn’t enough,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. Renly stared at the floor, looking uncomfortable. In order to distract himself, he went about getting himself a mug for the coffee Brienne had started to brew with her French press.

“Renly, I told you this would happen! I told you this would end in disaster, but you wouldn’t listen!” Brienne said, a sigh in her voice, as Renly slammed the cabinet door shut. He held out his mug for Brienne to make him a coffee, and with a roll of her eyes, she took it without another word. While she poured, she watched Renly out of the corner of her eye. With not a small amount of regret, she noted his slumped shoulders and tired face. She was one of maybe two people in the whole world who had ever seen him without a mask.  
Brienne handed him his coffee, then leaned against the counter and waited for him to say something. Renly was silent, sipping his coffee for a few minutes. He avoided her eyes, stared at the floor and seemed a little bit smaller than normal.

“I thought I could make it work, Brienne. I thought I could convince him to stay,” Renly said, his voice quiet, eyes still resting anywhere but on his best friend. She stared at him hard, penetrating as if she was reading his mind. She knew him better than anyone, had fallen in love with him and grown up. She had been there when he met Loras, dazzled and starry-eyed like she had never seen him. He had been caught off guard, nervous and stuttering and utterly charmless. It had taken Renly months to ask him out, to come to terms with his feelings. Brienne had spent countless mornings just like this, drinking coffee and talking. 

Commitment had always been the problem. Brienne had known Renly for years, knew that there was nothing he feared more than being abandoned besides caring about someone. “Renly, I’m really not sure you wanted it to work. Loras wanted things to be considerably more serious than you were ready for,” she said, finishing her coffee. She set the mug in her stainless steel sink, scrubbed spotless like the rest of her kitchen.

Suddenly angry again, Renly slammed his mug against the marble counter, milky coffee sloshing over the rim. “How dare you?” he hissed, and Brienne flinched, rubbing her temples. “Brienne, I am stuck in this apartment for another year and ten months. You think I would have signed a lease if I didn’t want to be with him? I’m fucking stuck!”  
“You can’t stay in that place, Renly! He’s your ex!” Brienne exclaimed, voice louder than she meant.

“Unless I ask my brothers for money, I can’t break the lease! You know how important being independent from them is! We were friends before we were together, and we’ll figure out how to be friends after. We’ll have to,” he said, jaw still set. He was grinding his teeth, face twisted into a grimace. 

“That is a disaster waiting to happen, Renly, and you know it. But you’re stubborn, I know I can’t change your mind,” she said, sighing deeply. “Do you want something to eat? Jaime’s coming back not too long from now, but you’re welcome to stay.”

“No, thanks. Seeing Lannister again is the last thing I want directly after breaking up with my boyfriend of five years,” he said, sighing. He gave her a small smile, but it was weak and wan. It dropped from his face before long. “He’ll be spending the night at Margaery’s, more like than not. He’ll have left shortly after I did. It’ll be safe to sleep there tonight, either in our bed or on the couch. I’ll manage.”

“If you’re sure, Renly. You’ve been drinking, are you okay to drive home? I can give you a ride,” she offered, taking Renly’s mug and putting it in the sink. While Renly watched guiltily, she took a rag and wiped the coffee he had spilled. Her manner and voice were still firm and devoid of any needling, but she masked a deep concern for Renly that both of them knew was there.

“I’m fine, you know me. My tolerance is much higher than two shots of bourbon, Brienne.” Renly shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out his car keys. “Thanks for the coffee, I’m gonna go.” He lifted himself up off the counter and approached Brienne with another wan smile. She hugged him, tall enough that he couldn’t tuck her head under his like he did most everyone else. For a moment they stood there, Renly steadying himself and breathing deeply. They rested their heads on each other’s shoulder before he pulled away again with a wider smile.

“Okay. Bye, Renly. Call me if you need anything,” she said, smiling at him. He waved at her and headed for the door, giving another small smile before she closed the door behind him.

When Renly got home, his boots fell heavy on the stairs and the door closed with a slam. If Loras were still here, he deserved warning that Renly was returning, but the lights were off and the broken glass had been tidied. Their shared apartment had not been a totally welcoming place by the end, but it had never felt colder to Renly than it did now. With a great huff, he threw the lights on, threw the curtains open, and turned his stereo to cheerful pop music. He made himself some tea and settled on the stiff couch with his laptop, settled in to try to get work done to distract himself.

He barely succeeded, ended up looking at the same page for hours with no progress, and fell asleep slouched in the cushions of the couch near two in the morning.

*******

By the time Loras snuck in quietly the next morning, Renly had roused and was brewing coffee. Habit had him brewing enough for two, and he offered one wordlessly to Loras before he could slump off unheard to their bedroom. With his arrival, the apartment seemed to shrink. What once had been spacious became cramped and claustrophobic.  
Loras looked like he’d been stricken, seeing Renly in the kitchen moving around like he had every day since they had moved in. Hesitantly, as if he expected Renly to have poisoned the mug, he accepted it and took a small sip.

“Sorry, I know you were probably expecting me to not be here. Jaime Lannister was staying the night with Brienne, so…” Renly said, trailing off and shrugging helplessly. The two of them stood facing each other on other opposite sides of the room, sipping their coffee. They moved slowly around the room, looking wary of the other as if facing a dangerous animal. Neither wanted to be the first to speak; neither wanted to start fighting again, but both expected the other to start yelling. 

Loras merely shrugged and sipped his coffee. After a minute, Renly set his coffee aside and crossed his arms. Renly raised an eyebrow, waved his hand in frustration, and spoke again. “Not gonna say anything? You know that’s gonna make coexisting a little difficult, right?” he said. When Loras looked surprised but still said nothing, Renly huffed and turned around. Being ignored bothered Loras like almost nothing else; it challenged his pride and ego in a way he could not stomach. Renly went about cleaning up the coffee machine and used grounds, humming softly to himself.

“Fuck, Renly! Don’t do that! Coexist? What do you mean, coexist?” Loras yelled, arms crossed over his chest, looking thunderous. Renly sighed, shook his head, making a show of being a little angry at Loras’ outburst. He didn’t turn around just yet, and instead hid a small fond smile by pushing the coffee maker out of the way before he turned around.  
“Are you planning on asking your grandmother for money to break the lease you just signed? After all that blustering about how we were making a mistake, you’re planning on telling her she was right all along?” Renly said, raising an eyebrow. Loras, who’d looked like he was building up a tirade, released a breath like a balloon releasing a lot of hot air. He pouted, hunched in defeat as he avoided Renly’s eyes by looking around the room. 

“We just broke up, Ren.” Loras frowned, eyes suspiciously wet as he collapsed in a heap on the couch. Renly had spent a few hours in the morning tidying, and the living room now looked like it had when they were happy together. Their shoes were piled unceremoniously next to the door, books sat haphazard on the coffee table, receipts poking out where their owners had last left off. The soft yellow curtains were open to the sun and blankets knitted by Loras were piled on the otherwise stiff-looking couch. The room looked like they had just last night cuddled up on the couch for a movie instead of screaming themselves hoarse.

Renly sighed, running a hand through his hair, and nodded. Loras wore his emotions on his face, with no hope of hiding them. Renly had never hid himself from Loras until now, steeling his eyes and setting his jaw so his ex-boyfriend wouldn’t know that this upset him just as much. It took him a minute before he spoke, before he could be sure his voice wouldn’t shake just a little.

“I know. But unless one of us asks our family for money, we can’t break the lease,” Renly said firmly. He stared at Loras for a moment, as emotionless as he could manage, before sighing and moving to sit on the coffee table opposite him. He gave Loras a small, sad smile, patted him on the knee, and waited while he took deep steadying breaths to keep himself from crying.

“I guess,” Loras said quietly, whispering to keep the emotion out of his voice.

“I can keep staying on the couch, it doesn’t bother me. I’ll just go into the bedroom to get clothes and shit. We were friends before all this, right? We can be friends again. Right?” There was a slightly desperate quality to Renly’s voice. Loras was one of the only people Renly trusted, and his voice took on a slightly pleading quality when he contemplated the thought of losing him completely.

Loras smiled a little and nodded, though he looked somewhat unsure. He curled his feet under him on the couch, sniffing a little and pulling a blanket over his legs.  
“Friends, yeah. We’ll make this work. But we can share the bed, trade nights on and off. Not fair to make you live out here,” Loras said, swiping his curls off his face and giving Renly another watery smile.

“I’m gonna take a nap in the bed. Didn’t sleep well last night,” Renly said, and stood up from the dark wood coffee table. Loras nodded and tucked himself with the red knitted blanket, shivering in his thin jersey pajama shirt. Renly dropped his eyes to it, knowing it was huge on him, knowing Loras had stolen it from him one weekend Renly had gone on a business trip. He’d said the shirt smelled like him and his cologne, though Renly was sure that smell had faded. For just a moment, his heart ached and when Renly looked back up into Loras’ brown eyes, he found the same dulled pain reflected back.

“Goodnight, Ren,” Loras said softly, and Renly nodded. He found himself jerking forward, habit forcing him to lean down to kiss Loras on the forehead. With a small grunt, he stopped himself and left for bed, closing the door a little too hard behind him.

Once he had gone, Loras let out a long, shuddering breath. If a few tears escaped, they were few and small enough that he could pretend they hadn’t. Cursing under his breath, Loras curled himself tighter under his blanket. In the back of his mind, he could hear his sister’s voice scolding him for not finding another place to live. Renly and him may have broken up the day before, but he was not under any delusions that meant they’d just stopped being in love overnight.

Pushing the thought out of his mind, Loras shut his phone off to ignore Margaery’s forthcoming questions. He wiped one last tear from his cheek and turned the television on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renly attempts to move on. This effort fails and Loras informs him of a fact about break ups.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so insanely late it's disgusting. I'd love to say the next chapter will be out much much sooner, and efforts will be made! But it'll probably also take awhile. I'm gearing up to start school again and work is getting way busier.
> 
> Again, this is unbetaed. Hit me up on tumblr at amanomii (especially if you wanna beta me or encourage me to write).

Margaery sat daintily in her designer dress and slouchy sweater amidst the slight disaster that was Loras’ living room, clicking her heels impatiently on the hardwood floor. Loras shuffled around in his and Renly’s semi-shared room, putting on clean clothes and finding his shoes in the mess of the floor. He had slept on the couch the night before, woken up to find Renly already gone to work. He was relieved, and had lazed around with coffee, enjoying the space empty of his ex-boyfriend and the tension he brought with him.

Their apartment was a clash of personalities, where it had once been clearly shared. Possessions fought for space on the tables, and food cluttered the counters of the kitchen. Two separate lives battled for dominance in a suddenly too-small apartment. Margaery had looked at Loras with something close to pity when he’d answered the door, squeezed his shoulder before she stepped past him and started cleaning

“Loras, I am going grey waiting for you. Sansa is waiting and we are late,” Margaery said, her voice gentle and soft but somehow conveying a ferocity and threat without even changing the inflection. Her pity faded the longer her brother took to get ready.

“I’m here, Marg, quiet down. Come on, let’s go to dinner. It’ll be fine, the Tyrells already love Sansa. They’ll be thrilled you’re dating her,” Loras said, clasping her shoulder as a brief form of comfort. He didn’t roll his eyes as he shoved shoes on, though it was a close thing. With a sniff, she snubbed his claim that she was nervous, and took his elbow. Allowing him to lead her to the door, she held herself like a queen as always.

Sansa Stark waited outside, the perfect opposite to Margaery. Where Margaery was calm to the point of coldness, Sansa was fire embodied. Where Margaery wore form-fitting clothing, Sansa had embraced an edgy thrift that fitted her. She looked well put together, but unpretentious. Inexpensive, but not cheap.

While Margaery was collected **,** even seemingly disinterested, Sansa quivered with nervous energy and gave Loras a bright smile. He breathed in relief and silently smiled back. She had been Renly’s friend first, and he’d introduced her to Margaery. Sometimes, Loras thought he might have broken up with Renly ages ago if not for how many of his best friends were shared with him.

“I should have known there’d be no hard feelings,” Loras said, letting her grab his elbow and drag him down the hall. Margaery sniffed and sped up just enough to catch her brother’s other arm. They walked towards the hired car waiting for them, Sansa’s energy focused on him instead of her girlfriend.

“H-How are you? How is _he_? He doesn’t seem to be talking to me lately. What, does he think I’ve taken your side or something?” she said, making a face. Loras made a face back, leaning a little into Sansa to reassure her.

“He’s okay, I’m okay. We haven’t killed each other. It’s tense, but we’re making do. I get the feeling he’s been avoiding most everyone” he said, his voice shorter than he intended. Suddenly enveloped in a curtain of bright red hair, Loras sighed into Sansa’s shoulder. She sniffed as she pulled back, brow furrowed in the same look Margaery had given him when he’d answered the door. By the time Sansa notices Loras has pulled away, he’s already waiting on the sidewalk for them. His arms are crossed, and the look on his face matches Margaery’s in chilliness. Sansa quiets and tucks her hair behind her ear. Now outside, Margaery breathed a little in relief.

“Let’s try not to talk about Renly, shall we?” she said in a voice that wasn’t quite a hiss. With that, she let go of Loras’ elbow after digging her nails briefly into his skin and flounced off next to Sansa. Loras said nothing. The Tyrells were nice people, kind and devoted and supportive of their family, but hard to hide things from. With one last look at his apartment building and one last thought for Renly, he ducked into the hired car that would take him to his family’s mansion.

* * *

 

The last drops of dawn still lingered at the edges of Renly’s eyes when he left that morning for his brother’s office. Stannis had been all carefully restrained smiles this week, thinking his frivolous younger brother had taken a new interest in the family business. The truth was he didn’t want to see Loras. If he had thrown himself headfirst into work, reminding everyone why he’d deserved his corner office with a view, it was because it was either that or face his ex-boyfriend.

Buried in paperwork, Renly was jostled out of his caffeinated trance by Brienne slumping into the room, frumpy office clothes and awkward gait well-known and comforting. With a grin, he looked up from the messy piles of reports that framed him, nearly covering every surface of the expensive mahogany. Brienne smiled back, bashful and shy as always.

“Brienne, save me from work. Tell me it’s time to go home,” he said, leaning back in his leather chair and resting his hands behind his head.

“It is. Renly, I was thinking, maybe you’d want to go out tonight? You know, clubbing? Jaime’s out of town and I can try being your wingman again,” she said, wringing her hands nervously. If not for the worried purse of her mouth, he might have thought she was asking him on a date. It wouldn’t have been the first time. But he had seen the looks people had been giving him, remembered the pointed questions about why Loras hadn’t met him for lunch recently. He sighed.

“I don’t know, Brienne. We barely broke up a few weeks ago, and I live with him. It isn’t exactly conducive to moving on, and I’m not sure I want to,” he said, speaking under his breath and glancing at his door. Brienne’s eyes softened, and she sat in the chair across from him, angled so she was blocking the view of the door.

“He’s gone for the night. You told me so. You need to get out of your own head, and stop torturing yourself over him,” she pleaded, leaning forward as if to grab his hands. He let her, squeezed her hand himself, and finally looked up at her fully. Renly couldn’t quite stand the kindness in her gaze, so he looked down again and pulled his hands away.

“Drinking in a public place instead of alone while he’s hiding in our bedroom would be a nice change,” he muttered as he stood up and retrieved his briefcase. He sighed again, and remembered the way Loras had looked at him just this morning when they’d run into each other making coffee. He had been accusatory and hurt, like he’d broken something precious. It had made Renly want to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness, but he had tried that before. Nothing had changed, and they still wouldn’t work. “You’re right. It’s over. Let’s do happy hour, Brienne. But I have to change first.”

Nodding to him, Brienne held the door open for him as he strolled out. With a quick glance back, he shut his office door behind him.

* * *

 

Loras motioned for his wine glass to be refilled, listening semi-amused to Gran’s interrogation of Margaery and Sansa. This dinner was about them, so it had been easy to avoid attention so far, but Sansa was wriggling and nervous. Margaery’s back was so straight, her face so tight, she might have been made of stone.

Gran, with her shrewd eyes that never dimmed despite her age, had hammered them. It was Loras’ suspicion that she knew they’d been dating for months and hadn’t thought to tell her. They had been nervous already and Loras had refused to deflect any attention. However, Margaery had just sent him a fierce look, her third in as many minutes. Loras stiffened his own back.

“And Loras, how is Renly doing?” Margaery said, her voice just a touch too shrill. Gran hummed and nodded, turning her withering stare to Loras. She was not fooled, and her sharp glance at Margaery proved it, but she had allowed herself to be distracted. It was likely she had been wondering the same thing.

“Fine, working a lot. So much I hardly see him these days,” he said, laughing lightly. He finished the wine in his glass, motioned again for it to be refilled, and hid behind it. He continued sipping at it as Gran stared at him, looking at him like she always had, like she could see through his soul. He ducked his eyes. His family was a loving one, supportive and kind and nothing like the Baratheons. But hiding things from them was not easy.

“Well, do bring him next time. I insist,” Gran said, waving her fork at him. Her gaze was no less fierce, but the way her eyes crinkled told of a fondness. She loved her grandchildren, and would cut Renly in half when she found out the truth.

He nodded, and the staff came out with dessert to save him from continuing the conversation. He muttered something about how he’d keep that in mind, and passed his family’s staff his empty plate. In the hustle of switching dinner plates for dessert plates, Loras blindly sent a text to Renly.

_“Change of plns. Will come home later,”_ it read, before he shoved his phone back into his pocket, smile back in place.

* * *

 

By the time Renly was ready to go, had changed his clothes and showered and styled his hair, Brienne had been waiting for over an hour and a half. She had eyeliner on, some light eyeshadow that Renly had given her once and taught her to use. She refused to put on more make up than that, and was still wearing the boxy button up shirt she had worn to work. She knew it would not draw attention.

He strode out of his own bedroom, hands raised, and did a little twirl. He wore clothes that had sat unworn for months. His tight black jeans and the deep v-neck shirts that showed off just enough chest hair had sat in his closet. They were clothes for the single man Renly hadn’t been for years. Brienne gave him an approving smile.

“I’m ready,” he said, grabbed his keys and coat from where he’d left them after coming here with his best friend from work. He moved from foot to foot, antsy to leave now that he was ready. Looking around, there were remnants of Loras everywhere: his mug in the sink, a book of his on the couch, his shoes and sweater on the floor.

Brienne nodded and stood, following Renly out his door and watching as he locked it behind him. The cab ride to his favorite bar was quick, and while looking through old text messages on his phone, Renly sighed and turned it off. Tonight, at least, he would not morosely look through old “I love you’s” and romantic selfies. Tonight, at least, he would lose himself in tequila and warm bodies.

They arrived at the club quickly, Brienne immediately looking intensely uncomfortable and out of place among the dark red strobe lights. Renly approached the bar as soon as they arrived, waving down the familiar bartender with a wave and a smirk. The man grinned and immediately trotted over, his slim body hiding the fluorescent lettering behind him that named the club: Temple.

“Renly, I haven’t seen you in ages! How’s the boyfriend?” the bartender asked, while pouring Renly’s usual drink. Renly sighed, didn’t say anything while Brienne shouldered past an embracing couple to stand next to him. He merely accepted the drink and swallowed it down. The bartender and sometime dancer at the club, Satin, merely whistled a low note and poured Renly another drink.

“That bad, huh? What happened? By the way, what’s your friend want?” he asked, gesturing to Brienne. She looked painfully out of place in the club, surrounded by fashionably dressed young men and drunk twinks with fake IDs. Temple wasn’t overly priced, but it was hip enough to be well-populated. It was just dimly lit enough, just dark enough in the corners, and just expensive enough to be genuinely on trend. Renly could afford higher priced clubs these days, but he couldn’t bear to frequent any bar but this one.

“She’ll take a vodka tonic, and don’t listen to her protests!” he said, winking at Brienne and she glowered good-naturedly. “We broke up, man. The fuck do you think I’m here on a Thursday for?” he said, and gratefully accepted the next drink. He sipped this one while he looked around at the other men there.

“What happened? You two were so goddamn happy!” he asked, leaning on the bar. Renly sighed again, quickly looking Satin up and down. The man was gorgeous, trim and fit, with the tightly fitting t-shirts and jeans that befit the bartender of such an establishment. Renly noticed his normally wavy hair was trimmed to a stylish cut. Satin caught his eye, smirking with a look that said Renly was caught.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s over. Don’t really want to talk about it, honestly,” he said, shrugging. Satin nodded and reached over the bar to rub his shoulder, a small smile on his face, before wandering off to tend other customers.

Brienne sat awkwardly at the bar, pointing out men she thought Renly might like and stiltedly attempting to convince them of his charms. Most of them needed little convincing. While Brienne stayed at the bar, nursing the same first drink, Renly disappeared to the dance floor with man after man. Not one of them lasted more than a song or two before Renly sauntered back to Brienne and Satin, smirk in place and undressing the bartender with his gaze.

“Not so much luck tonight, huh?” Satin asked, leaning further across the bar than he had to.

“I don’t know, it’s early yet and I’m new back at the game,” he said, smiling charmingly.

“I think you’re doing just fine,” Satin said, biting his lip. He patted Renly’s hand, let his fingers linger just half a second too long. He flounced away to serve other customers, but Renly’s eyes didn’t leave him.

Coughing awkwardly to get his attention, Brienne stood up and retrieved her coat. After patting her pockets to make sure she had everything, she looked at him apologetically, dragging his attention from the bartender’s ass.

“It’s time for me to head home. It’s getting late. You coming with or staying here?” she asked, her voice a little too soft for the loud club. Renly said nothing, just waved her off and then watched her make her clumsy way out of the bar. He turned back to his drink, only to find it nearly empty. As soon as he’d noticed, however, he looked up and found Satin looking at him with something in his eyes.

* * *

 

Renly took the moment afterwards to look around him. The bar had started to empty out with time, it being a weekday. The couples remaining on the dance floor were pressed close, some rowdy but most quietly entwined. Renly stared at those couples, saw him and Loras when they’d first started dating, so into each other it was like no one else existed. Loras would stick the tips of his fingers in the back pockets of Renly’s jeans, press his forehead against Renly’s shoulder. As he watched one couple begin lazily making out, he noted absently that they didn’t kiss like him and Loras had.

With a small tap on his shoulder, he jumped and spun around. Satin was standing there, arms across his chest in a way that highlighted the width of his biceps. He smiled a little sadly and sat next to Renly, hunched over the bar in tiredness.

“Man, feels great to get off my feet,” he said, and turned to look at Renly. “I may be going out on a limb here, but you’ve been checking me out all night. Do you wanna go somewhere more private?” By now, Satin’s eyes had dropped to Renly’s mouth, still pulled up in a smirk.

Renly downed his drink, looking at Satin with none of the subtlety he had been faking all night. Now, there was intent. The club had nearly emptied out by now, though it was still fairly early, and without the press of people it seemed dirty and a little desperate. The loud music was nothing more than a growing headache behind Renly’s eyes. Suddenly he wanted to leave more than anything.

“Well, it IS only 10. The night is young. Come on, we can go to mine,” he said, and stood up. Satin stood too, brushed salt off his jeans, and reached out for Renly. His fingers slipped and skimmed his waist, sending small shivers up Renly’s spine.

“You remembered I have four roommates. I’m flattered. Yours it is,” Satin replied, and gently guided Renly by the waist towards the exit. A little tipsier than he cared to admit, Renly let himself be led outside and deposited into a cab.

If, throughout the night, there had been a taut tension between them, like a string pulled a little too tight, it snapped once they were in the cab. Suddenly their hands were roaming under each other’s shirts, their fingers trailing along the waistband of their jeans. Renly dragged his tongue across Satin’s jaw and Satin slid his lips against Renly’s throat.

Distantly, Renly was aware of the city rushing past his head. If sober, perhaps Renly would have thought better of this. As it was, haze from booze and arousal crowded his mind. Satin and he had fooled around once or twice, before Renly had met Loras. Not often, but enough that the man knew most of Renly’s erogenous zones. The feather-light touches to the sensitive skin on Renly’s hips kept him from thinking.

The cab driver eventually cleared his throat, hoping to get the two men to extricate themselves enough to hear him. “Hey! Get the fuck out of my cab, a’right?” he yelled when they didn’t answer, and Satin pulled away from where he’d been sucking on Renly’s throat.

“Come on, Renly, we’re here,” Satin panted, tugging on the other man gently. Renly breathed deeply. As he let Satin pull him from the car, the cold night air hit him like a wave of cold water. He shook his head, ridding himself of most of his lingering drunkenness. There was a light on in the apartment, and Renly blinked confusedly before Satin was dragging him towards the front door.

The elevator ride up to Renly’s apartment was too long, both men itching to touch each other, leaning closer together the longer they were alone. By the type the doors opened on the fourth floor, they were pressed together in the corner of the elevator.

Renly ran his hands up and down Satin’s sides, breathed against his neck. It was rather little contact, but he was hard in his jeans. Shaking slightly, he pulled Satin out of the elevator and led him down the hall to his apartment. It had been years since Renly had slept with anyone but Loras. The idea of fucking someone else made his stomach cramp, but was thrilling at the same time.

* * *

 

Loras had dragged himself home after dinner, extricating himself from Sansa and Margaery’s tipsy, clingy affection. The night had been long, the comments about why Renly hadn’t joined them more and more pointed. The lights were off, shot glasses on the table to indicate Renly had been drinking before he’d gone out.

The apartment was quiet and empty. Filling it with music or the sound a bad comedy did nothing to quell the hollow feeling in Loras’ gut. Curled up under a blanket with the TV on background noise, Loras yawned. He had been trying to put off sleeping for hours, both hoping Renly would come back and hoping he would be asleep when he did. The longer he waited, the more his gut sank with the suspicion that Renly was out with someone.

Startled awake by the lock in the door, Loras jerked himself into a sitting position. He scowled, listening to more than one body struggle against the door while they tried to open it.

When Renly and Satin stumbled through the doorway, bodies clinging tight to each other, the apartment was in shadow. Loras had only left one lamp on. The two men were mere silhouettes against the wall in the walkway. Loras watched them with a frozen glare. The two shadows seemed to melt into one against the light-colored wall.

Loras waited for one of them to hear him, but with a growing pit in his stomach heard only quiet sighs and muted gasps. He heard them kissing and shut his eyes tightly.

“Is this some sort of twisted message you’re trying to send to me? Because bringing strange men home isn’t exactly going to make living together easier. Anyway, you could do better,”Loras said, his voice tight and biting. The two shadows jerked, suddenly silent and suddenly separate. There were loud whispers, but after a few seconds the two of them came into the little light left by the lamp. Loras glared up at them.

“What are you doing here? I’d _never_ have…you were meant to stay with your parents tonight!” Renly said. His face was flushed, from kissing or drinking or both, and there were burgeoning love bites on his neck. Satin stood behind him, hovering and awkward and about to bolt.

“I sent you a text telling you I was coming home.” Loras spoke slowly, looking up at Renly in disbelief. His eyes were dark, hateful.

“I turned off my phone. I didn’t want to…wallow. I’m sorry, Loras. He’s leaving.” With a sharp jab to Satin’s side, the other man retreated into the shadow. There was a thump and a curse as he tripped over a table and he was gone, the door closing behind him. Renly settled on the couch next to him with a sigh. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.

“So what was that? How could you do that to me?” Loras asked, his voice quiet with hurt. Neither man looked at the other.

“Brienne thought I needed to, you know, forget. Try to move on. Loras, we’ve broken up. It won’t happen like this again, but I can do what I want.” Finally, Renly looked up, staring at Loras long enough to force him to look back.

“If you think you’re going to win, you’ve got another thing coming,” he said, staring back at Renly.

“Winning? It’s not a competition. I took a guy I knew home, Loras. I’m sorry you’re jealous. Take the bed, okay? It’s late, I’m drunk and horny, and I want to sleep.” Renly rubbed his eyes, but his face stayed buried in his hands.

“Of course it’s a competition. Break ups always are. And I’ll win. You took a man home, fine. I’ll take home more, and they’ll be better looking,” Loras spat. With that, he stormed off to the bedroom they no longer shared and slammed the door. Renly closed his eyes, toed his boots off and fell asleep In his clothes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turnabout is fair play, the girls are worried, and some rules are established.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, an extremely long wait. I don't even really have an excuse besides that I got caught on the Loras/OMC scene. The rest of the chapter was written months ago. I will keep writing, but it will inevitably be slow as I'm starting grad school and I'll be working almost full time on top of that.

Renly woke with a groan, cracking his neck and back before turning off his phone alarm. With another noise of discomfort, he dragged himself to the kitchen to turn on the pre-set coffee machine. Not drunk enough to have really warranted a hangover, Renly suspected his headache was due to fighting with Loras. He leaned against the counter, rubbing his temples, and barely noticed Loras come out of the bedroom.

“You’re making coffee?” Loras muttered, getting two mugs down from the cabinet. This early, when both were so tired, it was almost like nothing had changed. Loras bumped his hip against Renly’s, their hands brushed while making their coffee. It was in moments like these, early in the morning, that they most missed each other.

As they sipped their coffee, standing companionably next to each other, it took a few moments of quiet to remember to be angry at each other.

“I’m sorry about Satin, Loras. I really am. If I had known you were here,” Renly said, trailing off and setting his coffee cup down. He crossed his arms defensively.

“I know. You’re still not going to win,” Loras said, nonchalantly continuing to sip his coffee.

“Now, come on, Loras. It’s not a competition. I just brought a guy home, I wanted to forget about you for a few moments.” Renly’s voice had taken on a bit of a begging quality. Loras crossed his arms too, turning to face his ex-boyfriend, ignoring the admission that Renly had accidentally made.

“Of course it is! Who handled the break up better? Who ended up better off? And if it’s about sleeping with men, I’ll sleep with more and they’ll be tens. Because I should have been out of your league, Baratheon, and you know it. No one will be surprised when they learn I left you,” Loras spat nastily, all the anger from the night before returning. Renly took a breath in, sharp and through his nose, and his face closed.

“Fuck you, Loras. Out of your league? It wasn’t about rubbing anything in, I just wanted to get laid! But I’m not out of your league. I could get just as many guys as you could, and fuck you for saying otherwise,” Renly said, and turned towards Loras. He puffed his chest out, stood taller as if trying to physically intimidate the other man. There was a flash of something on Renly’s face, something akin to hurt, before it disappeared.

Loras merely glared. “Prove it,” he said, spitting. Renly’s jaw clenched, he let out a breath, and turned to finish his coffee and wash the mug. Loras was silent behind him, and Renly was more than willing to ignore him while he got his temper under control, breathing long slow breaths. They were shaky breaths, and Renly closed his eyes tightly, pretending to himself they weren’t wet.

“I’m not going to compete with my ex-boyfriend to see who can fuck the most men in the apartment we share. That’s asking for disaster,” Renly said as he washed the rest of the dishes.

“I mean, if you’re worried I’ll win…” Loras said, smirking at Renly’s back. The muscles in his back tightened, his hands stilled, and he sighed. Neither man said anything, but Renly ground his teeth. Loras could almost see the scowl he’d be wearing. Before Renly could say anything else, his second alarm went off and he swore under his breath.

“You are not going to win. You are not out of my league, and you are not going to win,” Renly said over his shoulder. He slammed the door to the bedroom behind him and ignored Loras laughing on the other side as the blond made his own breakfast. By the time he came out of the bedroom, Loras had left for the day.

* * *

 

Awoken from a paperwork trance by the sound of coffee hitting his desk, Renly looked up with a start. Brienne smiled, still holding her own cup. Renly made a noise of thanks and sipped. As usual during their morning ritual, she made no noise. Every morning, she’d bring him coffee. They would sit and drink it quietly, a way of calming them both down before the madness that was Baratheon Inc.

“You gonna tell me what happened after I left last night?” Brienne asked softly, after a few minutes of silence. Moving the coffee cup around in his hand, Renly sighed.  
“I went home with him. With Satin. Except Loras had changed his mind about staying with his parents and was waiting on the couch for me,” Renly said, staring at the whorls of wood in his desk.

“Awake?” Brienne asked, moving forward in the armchair Renly used to make clients feel comfortable.

“Awake. Obviously, I sent him home. Loras said he would win the break up, that I was out of his league, and that I always had been. That no one would be surprised that he’d left me,” Renly said, his voice quiet and embarrassed and hurt. He stared at the wood still, picked his fingernails while Brienne sighed. She allowed Renly a moment to gather himself. “So what was with the text I woke up to that was largely unintelligible except for the part about taking home more men than him?” Her voice was wry, masking an exasperated glare. When he looked up, her gaze was chastising and almost motherly. He sighed and ducked his head again as if scolded.

“He suggested a contest over who could sleep with the most men. That’s where the out of his league comment came in. As if some washed up pro athlete is the best I can do,” Renly spat, but his voice wavered. From the back of Brienne’s throat a small noise of pity escaped. He refused to look up, knowing that his best friend would see the crack in his armor as he swallowed around a lump in his throat.

“I know claiming that you’re too good for each other is defensive. But you can’t honestly think this is a good idea. You can’t compete with your ex over who can sleep with the most men in the apartment you still share. Are you fucking crazy?” Brienne’s voice was a hiss, far more hostile than normal. Renly was speechless, bottle of water frozen at his mouth mid-sip.

“Are you mad at me? Look, if this makes living with him easier, I’ll do it. If this means I can see other people, try to move on, without worrying about what he’ll do if he learns that I’d been with someone,” Renly said, sitting forward in his chair, his voice soft. Brienne sighed, and uncrossed her arms.

“This is a terrible idea. But you have a teleconference in five minutes, so I’ll go,” Brienne said sharply, and stood up. She took her coffee. When she looked back, mouth open to say something apologetic before closing the door, Renly was already preparing paperwork for his conference.

* * *

 

With too small tables crowded with designer shopping bags and purse dogs, Brienne looked wildly out of place in the trendy tea shop. She sat awkwardly, perched like a cake-topper on a chair she didn’t quite fit into.

“Renly’s buried himself in work. He skipped lunch,” Brienne said, after giving the waitress her sandwich order. The waitress smiled and left, weaving skillfully between the crowded tables to get to the kitchen. Margaery and Sansa already had their tea and lemon cakes in front of them.

“You can’t let him keep doing that. Remember last time? Remember college?” Sansa blurted in a rush, putting her tea down a little too hard. Brienne grimaced and nodded. They shared a look, nodded to each other while Margaery looked on confused.

“Sansa, I know. I remember. He’s fine for the most part, far as I can tell, just busy. And I’m bringing something to him, anyway. But this whole competition they’ve cooked up is bound to end in disaster,” Brienne said, her fists clenched. Margaery looked from one to the other, brow furrowed. The waitress appeared again, placing Brienne’s order on the tiny table in front of her.

“What are you talking about, college? You know how I feel about being out of the loop, darling,” Margaery said, her voice sharp. Sansa and Brienne looked at each other conspiratorially. Steam drifted from Brienne’s tea, making her look more mysterious than she was. She took a bite of her sandwich to avoid answering.

“Renly has a history of terrible eating habits. He’ll go days without eating and then binge and purge. It got bad in college after his other serious boyfriend left him. We had to get him medical attention,” Sansa said carefully, hands clasped on her lap. Her head ducked, she stared at her tea while talking. Margaery’s mouth gaped for a moment, for once the polite, put-together girl taken aback. With none of Sansa’s nervous deference, Brienne stared at Margaery across the table.

“Does Loras know?” Margaery asked softly. Her eyes were bright and hard, her mouth tight. Sansa put a hand on her shoulder and gave her an apologetic smile. Margaery did not smile back, turning her face away from her girlfriend’s instead.

“He does. Eventually, Renly told him why he doesn’t have a gag reflex. He’s doing fine,” Brienne said gruffly in an attempt to end the conversation. Her sandwich was gone, while the other two girls had half their lemon cakes left.

“Well then Loras will know to make sure he eats. They’ve broken up, but he still cares about him,” Margaery said, eager to move past a conversation she wasn’t in control of. “And Brienne is right, this competition is absolutely ridiculous.”

“You know those two. Once they make a decision, especially when it comes to competitions. We’ll have to let them make this mistake.” Rolling her eyes as she spoke, Sansa’s expression held a hidden worry that all three shared. Exasperated though they all were, all three had a suspicion that this situation would end in disaster and yet more heartbreak.

“I’ve already screamed myself hoarse over it with Loras, and he just doesn’t see that not every single action of Renly’s is about him. Of course he says it’s about winning, but really it’s jealousy. He can’t bear to think that Renly might move on first, and they bring out the best and worst in each other anyway,” Margaery raged, throwing her hands up despite the small space. Around them, a few older couples glared at their volume.

Brienne said nothing for a few moments, just finished her sandwich and tea and cleaned the crumbs off her slacks. “Just because Renly tried to sleep with someone doesn’t mean he’s moving on. Anyway, I have to go. I have to bring him food or he might forget.” Brienne’s voice was guilty, like she shouldn’t have been leaving, but she stood up and collected her things anyway. Sansa and Margaery both stood with her, kissing her cheek and squeezing her shoulders before sitting back down again. Neither of them were surprised at Brienne’s sudden departure. She hated gossiping about Renly. When Brienne glanced back, the two women had closed ranks around each other and shut off the world. Brienne sighed deeply, and left for a burger place she knew Renly couldn’t resist.

* * *

 

Loras pushed the hair off his sweat-damp forehead, fanned himself with his shirt, and guzzled some of his water before he wiped down the machine. He could feel eyes on him like tickles crawling up his neck. With a smirk, Loras turned around and winked at the man in the sleeveless tank top he’d felt checking him out.

His stomach growled, but Loras had been too angry to eat. Working out had always been his second favorite way of blowing off steam. He turned to find the man’s eyes were still on him, watching as he toweled himself off a bit.

After a few moments, Loras left the work out room for the lockers, the young man’s eyes still on his back. Before letting the door close behind him, he shot a quick smile at the man. The man faded from his mind over the course of the afternoon, occupied as he was by private clients and full classes.

By the time he got out of work for the day, it was hours later. He toweled off from his last class, showered and blow dried his hair in the employee locker rooms, and headed to the juice shop next to his gym. On his way out, the handsome man from earlier caught him on the shoulder. With headphones in, Loras was startled and jumped, dropping his bag. When he looked up, the man was holding his bag with a dimpled smile.

“Hey, I’m Gareth. You work at the gym.” The young man, Gareth, was not asking a question. Loras nodded anyway, and smiled.

“I’m a personal trainer, and I teach fitness classes. I’ve not seen you there before. You’re a new member?” Loras asked, and gently took his athletic bag away from Gareth.

“My friends told me to join this gym because it’s where the hot guys worked out. Guess they were right, huh?” Gareth leaned into Loras as he spoke, his hand falling to his elbow in a flirtatious touch. Loras was reminded of the last few weeks of his relationship with Renly, of flirting with others to make Renly pay attention to him. He was reminded of that sinking feeling in his stomach when Renly came home and Loras had heard another voice with him. He remembered Renly saying he’d wanted to forget about him, that he wanted to move on. He swallowed heavily, looked at the other man. He wasn’t as attractive as Renly or Satin, but he would do as a distraction. Loras looked at Gareth’s face, at the barely disguised look of desire that made his eyes glow just a little.

“Come home with me and I’ll show you just hot I am,” Loras said, his friendly smile becoming molten and seductive as he made a decision. Gareth nodded, smirked, and followed Loras on his changed course to his car.

On the drive to his apartment, Loras white-knuckled the steering wheel, ignored the flush he felt on his face and the nervous sweat of his palms. Before he’d met Renly, Loras had been an irredeemable flirt. Out of the two of them, neither had been shy, but both had been reticent. Commitment had been new to Loras. Arousal sparked in his gut, a hand on his thigh breaking him from his thoughts. After years with Renly, months with nothing at all, sex with a stranger lit a fire he hadn’t felt in a while. Suddenly, he wanted this desperately.

“You seem nervous,” Gareth said in a low voice, his thumb rubbing Loras’ inner thigh.

“Not nervous. Just haven’t done this in awhile. Got out of a serious relationship not long ago.” Loras’ voice was clipped and short, but he smiled again at Gareth as he pulled into the parking lot for his building.

“This it? Sorry about the break up, man. I bet I can help you forget all about him,” Gareth said, rubbing Loras’ thigh still.

“Yeah, this is it. I bet you can. But if you plan to, I expect you to shut up and get to it,” Loras said as he shut the car and leaned in to press a quick, hot kiss to Gareth’s neck.

By the time they reached Loras’ apartment, Gareth was pawing at Loras’ clothes. Both men breathed hard, Loras letting Gareth pull at the button of his jeans a little desperately. As they stumbled through the living room, littered with evidence of cohabitation to anyone paying attention, Loras noticed the blinking light of the time on the cable box.

6:35. Renly would slog through the door at about 7:30 at the latest. Loras gently tugged Gareth by his belt loops to the bedroom with a smile. By the time the back of Loras’ knees hit he bed, he had Gareth’s pants around his thighs.

“What’s the rush, babe?” Gareth asked, pushing the blond onto his back.

“Didn’t expect this. Got someone coming,” he said, groping at the front of Gareth’s underwear. The two of them made quick work of each other’s clothes, both eager to have hands on each other. By the time they’d finally gotten naked, they were panting and desperate. Gareth was rutting slowly against his hip, stifling Loras’ whimpery moans with his mouth.

“Well if we don’t have a lot of time, why don’t I just blow you and be done with it?” Gareth asked, pulling his mouth away from Loras’ neck and grinning filthily. Loras merely shook his head and took Gareth’s cock in his hand.

“I want to be fucked,” he said, stroking Gareth’s cock a few times and staring him in the eyes. Gareth stared back and let his hands run up and down Loras’ waist for a moment. “Lube? Condoms?” Gareth asked, his voice hoarse. Without a word, the blond reached next to him and rummaged around in his bedside drawer. He gave the other man a grin and hitched his legs around his waist. Before Gareth knew what was happening, Loras had flipped them and settled onto the man’s thighs.

“Watch,” he said as he lubed up his fingers. Gareth’s face held nothing but hunger; he watched Loras in near rapture as he pushed a finger inside himself with a gasp. He kept watching as Loras kept pushing, slowly, until he was pushing back on his own finger. After a moment or so, Gareth took his own cock in his hand, stroking it lazily to the same rhythm Loras was thrusting into himself.

It seemed like ages had passed, Gareth now gripping the base of his cock, Loras with his head thrown back and three fingers inside himself. “How much more watching?” Gareth asked in a growl. “Enough watching.” Loras was sliding a condom on Gareth’s cock before the man could blink, positioning himself above his jutting cock.

It was as Loras was lowering his body onto Gareth’s that the door to the apartment opened. Neither man heard Renly in the living room putting down his briefcase, or in the kitchen getting a drink. They were too caught up in each other to hear him asking who was in the bedroom.

When Renly opened the door, an exclamation on his lips, Loras’ head was thrown back, his hips moving rapidly on Gareth’s cock.

“Loras, what the fuck?!” he asked. He threw up an arm to cover his eyes, vein in his neck popping. His face was red, mouth twisted in rage. Loras’ head flew up, his own mouth falling open in shock before it became a smirk.

“Hey, Renly,” he said, his voice sweet like too-ripe fruit.

“Living room. Five minutes,” Renly hissed, slamming the door to the bedroom. Loras moved a few more times on Gareth, moaning a little before getting up.

“Sorry. I gotta take care of this. I’ll call you,” Loras said. He pulled on some sweatpants, grinned at the man laying dumbstruck on the bed, and flounced into the living room. Loras paid no attention to Gareth’s exclamations that he didn’t have his number.

* * *

 

Renly paced outside the bedroom, glass of scotch in his hand. He whirled around when he heard the bedroom door open, his other fist clenched. Baratheons tended to lean on rage and violence as a crutch, and though Renly had largely avoided that character flaw, he was shaking a little with the temptation to put a hole in the wall.

“Did you really have to interrupt?” Loras asked, still smirking. He leaned against the wall near Renly, arms crossed, impervious to Renly’s anger.

“If this is going to happen, there have got to be rules. I will not come home from work every day to find you screwing some ‘roided up loser from your stupid gym,” Renly yelled. The glass of scotch in his hand sloshed as he waved his hands. He slammed the cup on the coffee table, the remaining alcohol spilling over the sides.

“Rules? Whatever do you mean? I only brought someone home. Like you did,” he said sneering. Loras stalked away from the wall, advancing on Renly like a lion on his prey. Renly merely crossed his arms and squared his jaw.

“I didn’t know you’d be home. If we’re going to do this, this competition, there have got to be rules! And one of them is to warn the other if we have a guest.” Renly was yelling, but Loras looked devious, his smirk becoming a dangerous grin.

“You’re right. Let’s make this real. With points and rules and penalties. For each man one of us sleeps with, we get a point. But if we’re interrupted or fail to warn the other, we get no point. If we sleep with the same man, we both lose a point. Everything else is fair game,” Loras said, clapping his hands together.

For a moment, Renly said nothing, merely stared at Loras wide-eyed and confused. He let out a breath like a balloon letting out air, blustering anger deflating. With no attention to the sleep detritus on the couch, he sat down heavily and put his face in his hands. Briefly, Loras felt remembered the clawing jealousy and head-rushing hurt of hearing Renly breath against another man’s neck. Renly sighed deeply and guilt made Loras’ stomach hurt. Fingers twitching, he resisted the urge to reach out and stroke Renly’s hair, tell him how sorry he was.

“You’re on. And you’re not going to win,” Renly said, his voice holding a new determination. When he looked up from his lap, his face was red, but otherwise normal. If his voice had been the tiniest bit hoarse, they could both thank the yelling. His mouth was twisted into a grimace, and he stood. He left his suit jacket on the back of the couch, dug through his bag for a moment for his wallet, and then turned to leave.

“Where are you going? You just got back,” Loras said, laughing a little. Renly shrugged.

“Out,” he said, “and I’m bringing someone home.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renly goes to see an old friend, which Loras isn't pleased with. After drinking, Loras decides not to play fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, again, about how long this took. I'm in my master's program now, so it's hard to find time between work and school and my master's thesis. I'll try to do better!!
> 
> I'm also sorry for the cliffhanger. Merry Christmas? I'm gonna try and write a NYE oneshot!

“So are you going out tonight?” Loras asked hesitantly as he chopped vegetables for dinner. Renly, from the living room, shuffled the papers in front of him and gave a frustrated sigh. The sight of the living was one of disaster. There were the remains of pressed suits littered the floor, Renly’s briefcase sat haphazardly against the couch with a bunched up comforter, and spreadsheets surrounded him on the coffee table.

“Yeah, I am. I promised Oberyn I’d go out for his birthday. Just trying to get shit done before I have to go,” Renly said, voice distracted. Loras sighed, but did so quietly so as to hide it. Through the hair hanging in his face, Renly looked up. The knife stilled, Loras had his head bowed, and his shoulders shook just a little.

“Are you going to bring someone home?” he asked, and continued chopping vegetables with a little more fervor.

Moments like these had been happening more and more often. Loras and Renly circled each other like wild animals, never quite sure when the other would strike. Both had brought one or two people home, sent the other to hide at their best friends’ house. Neither was happy with the arrangement, and they lived with the sense that something worse was coming. That they could not live in this uneasy peace for long.

With only the sound of Renly’s fingers on his keyboard and Loras’ knife slicing vegetables, the near silence of the apartment was almost oppressive. The moments until Renly replied felt interminable.

“I don’t know. Probably, knowing the types of parties Oberyn throws,” Renly said, still not looking up. After a few more minutes, with a frustrated grunt Renly shoved away his laptop and loosened his tie. Loras turned around, watched him for just a hint too long, and turned around again.

“Have fun,” Loras said shortly and hid a smirk. Anything Renly might have said in reply was then drowned out by the loud sound of sizzling as he dumped the vegetables into hot oil. Renly sighed and stood up. Once in the bedroom, he closed the door.

The bedroom, too, showed signs of silent tension. Most of Renly’s clothes were out of place. Where once there had been shared shelves and unified decorations, now an invisible line divided the former couple’s possessions. Instead of a shared bedroom, it looked like a dorm room with only one bed. Impersonal, hardly shared, like one or both of them was only half unpacked. Renly felt a pang in his chest. Outside the door, he could hear Loras cooking and singing under his breath. Once, he might have joined him but instead he had had fast food burgers for dinner for a week.

He felt felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and with his back to the door, head leaning against it, he jumped.

 _‘Why did I JUST hear you’re single?!! I would have asked you clubbing ages ago!!!’_ The text was from Oberyn, all exclamation points and drinking emojis. All of Renly’s bad mood evaporated, and he quickly replied.

 _‘Sorry! Thought you knew…Anyway, yeah, single and ready to mingle’_. Renly finished off his text with a winking face. Throwing his phone onto the bed, he changed from his suit into a pair of tight jeans and slim-fitting band shirt. He wore a pair of artfully scuffed combat boots, and his phone vibrated from his bed.

‘ _Well I bet I can help with that’_. Oberyn, too, finished off his text with a winking emoji, and added an eggplant and a peach to drive the point home. Renly cleared his throat, felt a little hot as he put his phone in his pocket where it sat like a hot coal.

After checking to make sure he had everything in his pockets, Renly left, and merely glanced at Loras’ stiff figure in the kitchen. His shoulders were tensely set, and his movements tightly controlled. He was angry, and Renly cleared his throat again.

“So you’ll be bringing Martell home, I imagine,” Loras sneered, though he refused to turn around. Renly sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets.

The memory of Oberyn’s last text was front in his mind, as was Loras’ hatred of the man. The last time Oberyn and him had spent time together alone was the last time Renly had gone through a break up. After a weekend of near-constant rebound sex, Renly had felt a lot better. Then he had met Loras, who’s hatred of Oberyn Martell was well-known everywhere. It had been some years since the two had spent time together that wasn’t in a large group.

“We’ll go to his. No need to risk a brawl,” Renly drawled. “Anyway, I’m off. Enjoy your night.” With a half-hearted wave, Renly left out the front door, taking his phone out of his pocket as he did.

 _‘Can’t wait’_. Renly sent the text in a hurry with a smiley face and quickly hailed a cab to Oberyn’s club.

* * *

 

As soon as he arrived at the Red Viper, Renly was enveloped in a sea of cheering. Immediately, a strong arm wrapped around his waist and a deep booming laugh sounded in his ear.

“Renly! You’ve joined us! You must catch me up, my friend! Come, to my private box!” Oberyn said, and Renly let himself be guided to the VIP section of the high end club.

The club, the motif of which was red, was darkly lit. Around the edges of the large building were booths, lit only by dim red lamps. The club became brighter towards the center of the club, with multiple strobe lights focused on the dance floor in the center. The club was tasteful, classy with just the right amount of seediness. The drinks were expensive, but all of them were served with some sort of twist. Oberyn had made a very successful career out of having exclusive parties.

The hand on his waist tightened, and Renly let Oberyn take him to the booth. Before he could blink, a glass of champagne was in front of him.

“Tell me about the break up,” Oberyn said, clapping a hand on Renly’s thigh. It stayed there while Renly sighed, sipped his champagne.

Oberyn was a good person, a great friend. Once, Renly might have said he loved him, before Oberyn proved why that was a terrible mistake. He always seemed to be there when Renly needed a rebound, though. And with a hand on his thigh, his voice in his ear, a dark and musty smelling cologne drifting around him, he had always been impossible to resist. Renly breathed deep and unconsciously leaned toward him, feeling sixteen again.

“It was work. Stannis expects so much and I’m moving up in the company real fast. I was away a lot, had to go on a bunch of business trips. He felt ignored, made me choose. We fought for months, and I chose my career. Stannis would be proud,” Renly said, finishing wryly, finishing his champagne. Oberyn’s hand rubbed gently at Renly’s thigh as a small comfort, and he rested his head on the older man’s shoulder. Without another word, Oberyn filled Renly’s champagne flute. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Oberyn expecting Renly to explain better, before he sat upright.

“Enough about this. Still dance, old man?” Renly said, giving Oberyn a roguish grin. Oberyn raised an eyebrow, but took the hand Renly offered him to get him standing. When he looked into the younger man’s face, he recognized the look there with trepidation. Renly’s eye glinted with steely determination and a silent question. It was a look Oberyn had seen maybe more than anyone else in Renly’s life. ‘ _No more talking. I’ve talked enough. Help me forget_ ,’ the look asked.

“I’ll bet I can still give you a run for your money,” he said, winking playfully at Renly. Oberyn knew what his role was and had always been. He would play the rebound, a friend who would ask no questions and offer no advice, whom Renly could forget himself with until the sting had gone from his break up. It was a role he’d played many times.

Renly began dragging him to the dance floor, but before they could get too far, Oberyn took his wrist and held him back.

“Renly, I know you. Your instinct is to run away from troubling emotions, and I’m happy to help. But Loras was different from anyone else you’ve been with, more important. Don’t you think maybe you should deal with it?” Oberyn asked, his voice soft. Renly’s face hardened, and he shook his head gently.

“Shut up, get me drunk, and dance with me. I don’t want to talk anymore.” Renly’s voice cracked, just slightly, on the word “talk” and Oberyn nodded. Without another word, he handed him a shot. Renly nodded, and he downed the shot with a small cough. Oberyn gave him a small smile, perhaps somewhat pitying. Grinning again, Renly dragged Oberyn to the dance floor, threw his head back, and pulled the other man’s hips to his.

* * *

 

“He knows how I feel about that jerk! I’m telling you, he’s hanging out with him just to piss me off!” Loras said, finishing the glass of wine Sansa had poured for him. Margaery was sitting next to him on the couch, one hand on his shoulder. While she was playing the comforting sister, Sansa was hiding an eye roll behind the wine bottle.

“Loras, I do love you, but get over yourself! Oberyn has been friends with Renly longer than _I_ have. He did not go see him to bother you. He went to see him because he always does after a break up. Oberyn is his go-to rebound,” Sansa said, cutting off Margaery. The brunette glared at her girlfriend for interrupting her, but turned back to Loras all the same.

“See? He’s not trying to get back at you,” Margaery said gently. Loras scoffed, running a hand over his face. Sansa filled his wine glass again.

“It still feels like a punishment,” he said, nodding his thanks at Sansa and taking another sip of wine. His face was flushed, his hair starting to frizz out of the normally crafted curls. In one sip, half the wine Sansa had poured him was emptied.

Sansa’s voice softens, and she put a hand on his knee. He looked up. “He isn’t punishing you. He’s running away. Oberyn gets him drunk and takes him home and doesn’t talk. When he goes to him, he can pretend all the bad, scary emotions aren’t there and Oberyn lets him.” Sansa paused, glancing over at Margaery before she continued. Margaery avoided her eyes, but sighed.

“It means he’s hurt, Loras. It means he misses you,” Margaery said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. Loras drained his wine and shook his head. Giving a cursory glance to his half empty wine glass, he drained it. Over his head, Sansa and Margaery glanced at each other.

“Good. I want him to hurt. I’m hurt,” he said. While Margaery’s hand edged to the bottle of wine to take it from him, Loras beat her to it. He snatched it off the table and took a long swig, tipping it vertical above his head and gulping.

“Loras. This situation you’ve put yourself in is a disaster. Come stay with me. Or one of our brothers,” Margaery said in a pleading voice. The two women watched, somewhat dismayed, as Loras took another swig from the bottle.

“And perhaps put the wine down. You do have work tomorrow,” Sansa said with trepidation. Loras shook his head, took another swallow from the bottle. With a roll of her eyes, Margaery tugged it from his hands and kept it in her lap.

Loras pitched forward, his head falling to rest in his hands. He belched, quietly, and sighed somewhat sadly. The wine bottle was nearly empty, with Margaery and Sansa having had less than a glass each. When Loras sighed again and looked up, his face was even more flushed. His eyes were a tad glazed and his bodily movements were half as graceful as usual.

“No, I’ve started this and I’ll finish it. I’m not backing down before him,” he said, his voice a little slurred. “But that doesn’t mean I have to sit here and be miserable, know he’s out gossiping about me to someone I hate.” Somewhat unsteadily, Loras stood to his feet, gracelessly pulling his phone from his pocket.

“Loras, please. What are you doing? He’s doing no harm with Oberyn, and I promise they aren’t talking about you. They aren’t talking at all, that’s the point!” Sansa said desperately. She stood up, arms crossed and eyes blazing.

“So they’re hooking up in some back room. You think that’s better? Whose side are you on, Stark?” Loras spat, crossing his arms as well. They faced each other across the coffee table, opposing pictures of fiery fierceness. Loras’ blond curls were a messy halo around his head, anger muddied by how drunk he clearly was. When he moved, he swayed slightly on his feet. Sansa was steady, her faced paled with fury and contrasted by her curtain of auburn hair.

“I am on no one’s side! Loras, he is trying to move on. Nothing else! You broke up with him, so I do think he has a right to do that!” Sansa yelled, and winced as soon as she had. Loras seemed to expand with blustering rage, all signs of drunkenness fading in his sureness. He still held his cell phone in his hand, Renly’s number already on the dial screen.

“ _I_ broke up with _him_? He pushed me away! He pushed and pushed and pushed until I had no other choice! I couldn’t live as second best to some company and job he doesn’t even like anymore! And I don’t have to be around people who are taking his side.” As always, when Loras decided an argument was over, he shut it down. He turned away from Sansa.

“Well, Loras. It seems as if you are doing fine without us for the night. I will chalk up your outburst at my girlfriend to your being drunk, but I do expect an apology. Goodnight,” Margaery said primly. When Loras glanced back, she had her coat on and was gently leading a protesting Sansa to the door. He ignored the pang of guilt, and called Renly’s cell phone.

“Renly!! There’s an emergency, I fucked up big time,” he said, impressed with how steady his voice was.

By the time Renly’s phone buzzed in his pocket, he was well and truly drunk. While him and Oberyn were pressed tight together on the dance floor, Oberyn was mostly holding him up.

“Renly, darling, your phone is ringing,” Oberyn said quietly, his breath on Renly’s neck as he muttered into his ear. Renly let out a shaky breath and nodded, but didn’t answer. Instead, he tilted his neck, a silent request to Oberyn. He stepped away. “Answer your phone,” he said.

With a sigh, Renly pushed his way to the edge of the dance floor. After clearing the doors, he took a deep breath of the chilled air outside the club and answered.

“Renly Baratheon, what’s up?” he said, voice slurring a little.

“Renly!! There’s an emergency, I fucked up big time,” Loras said, babbling like he did when he was nervous. On the other end of the phone, Renly sighed.

* * *

 

“Loras, what happened? What emergency?” he said, sobering up the more he was outside in the brisk night air. On the other end of the phone, Loras seemed to be breathing hard, as if he’d been running. For a moment, they were both silent.

“I got drunk while cooking. I was upset you were out with Martell,” Loras started, spitting the name while Renly rolled his eyes. “I got drunk and forgot the food was still on heat. Started a fire.”

On the other end of the call, Renly cursed under his breath. He ran a hand through his already messed up hair. He cursed again and looked around for a cab. His hands shook, just slightly, as nightmare scenarios ran through his head.

“How bad was the fire? Are you hurt? Are you okay?” Renly said, his voice quiet but tense with fear. By the last question, his voice was high pitched and cracking just a little.

“The fire department is here. They don’t know the extent of the damage to the apartment yet,” Loras said, his voice also softer. If he talked louder, Renly may have detected the lie in his voice, the lack of fear and the steadiness. Instead, it merely sounded like he was in shock.

“I’m trying to find a cab now. I’ll have to get Oberyn to call one for me. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Loras, forget about the apartment. _Tell me you are okay_.” Renly insisted as he reentered the club and flagged down Oberyn. His face was red, his eyes just a little wild. Immediately, Oberyn waded through the crowd towards him, asking him what was wrong. Renly mouthed the word “cab” and the man nodded, taking his phone out.

“I’m fine. I got out in time, called the fire department from outside. Just get here, okay?” By now, hearing the fear in Renly’s voice, Loras had started to feel just the slightest bit guilty. But hearing Oberyn in the background, imagining him putting a hand on Renly’s lower back as he asked him what was wrong, the guilt went away.

“I’ll text you when I’m five minutes away. See you soon,” Renly said, and hung up, voice steadier now. He turned to Oberyn, taking hold of the older man’s arm. “Oberyn, I need a cab. Now.”

“Done, all done. It’ll be outside in a few minutes. What happened?” Oberyn’s own voice was pleading. He reached out to hold Renly’s shoulder as the younger man ran a hand through his hair. When Renly turned and walked out of the club, Oberyn followed. It was only after the door to the club had closed, muffling all noise but the beat of the bass, that Renly replied.

“Loras set the apartment on fire. I have to go home. I…fuck,” Renly said, his voice shaking. While Oberyn leaned against the wall of the building, Renly paced and ran his fingers through his hair. He was pale, his eyes darting around as if the fire had followed him through the phone.

“Shit, is he okay? Do you need a place to stay?” Oberyn said. He pushed off from the wall and put a hand on Renly’s shoulder, steadying him. With a deep breath, Renly made himself stop pacing, turned toward Oberyn and let the older man pull him closer into something of an embrace. They separated only when they heard the taxi arrive behind them.

“Far as I know, he’s fine. Thanks for the cab, I’ll text you. We’ll raincheck the rest of the evening, yeah?” Renly said, partially against Oberyn’s neck and partially over his shoulder. The cab had pulled away before Renly had even finished closing the door. Oberyn sighed, shook his head, and went back to the party.

 _Moving on will take time this time. You won’t heal in that apartment_. Halfway to his apartment, running red lights and cutting off other drivers, Renly’s phone buzzed. He didn’t read it.

* * *

Throwing a tip at the cab driver, Renly prepared to run towards the apartment. As he approached, he stopped in his tracks. There were no firetrucks, no sirens or hoses, no evidence of any damage to the building whatsoever. He took a deep breath, panic subsiding and giving way to anger. He took the steps two at a time all the same, opening the door with a bang.

“Fire, huh? I don’t see anything wrong with the apartment, or the building. Or you.” Renly had his arms crossed, his voice tensed. The vein in his neck bulged, his face reddened. Baratheon anger was legendary, marked by the same symptoms no matter which brother.

“Okay, fine, I lied. But I won. You didn’t sleep with Martell, you don’t get the points.” Loras had sobered somewhat since making the call, but his voice still held some unsteadiness and his movement as he walked toward Renly swayed a little more than usual.

“Oh please, this wasn’t about some stupid competition! You don’t get to decide who I see anymore, Loras!”

When Renly was angry, he bellowed. His fists clenched and he seemed to get taller, take up more space, dominate whatever space he was in like his rage was a physical thing. Loras was different. Loras’ anger was quieter, but just as terrifying. It wasn’t as bright and loud and big, but it lasted longer. Renly yelled and punched things and moved on. Loras hissed and held a grudge and made you hurt like he hurt, an eye for an eye. When they fought each other, they left nothing but rubble.

“Who said it wasn’t? Anything is fair game, we never agreed _not_ to sabotage each other,” Loras said, arms crossed. Renly only seemed to expand further.

“THIS WASN’T ABOUT THAT! This was about you hating Oberyn and hating the idea that I could be with him and making sure I wasn’t! And that isn’t fucking fair!” Renly yelled. Loras stayed quiet while Renly took great blustering breaths. “You dumped me. You decided you’d had enough and you dumped me. And now you don’t get to sabotage my attempts to stop hurting!”

“Would you quit meandering around thinking you’re the only one in pain? So fine, I made the final decision. I decided enough was enough, I was done sharing you with a job you don’t even like. But it still hurt. I’m still hurt,” Loras said, quiet and dangerous, curled in tight on himself.

Renly let out a rush of breath, ran his hands through his hair. Suddenly, predictably, he was exhausted by his own anger. Loras merely stood in front of him, quiet and trying to look small.

“I just wanted to stop thinking about you for a couple of hours,” Renly said, his voice tired.

“And I couldn’t stop thinking about you, in bed with him. It made me feel sick. Though, in hindsight, that could have been the giant bottle of wine I drank,” Loras said, and sighed. Slowly, they seemed to be gravitating towards each other, taking baby steps in the other’s direction without meaning to. By the time both of them looked up from their feet, they were at most a foot away from each other.

“Who says we would have made it all the way to the bedroom? I was about to let him into my pants right there on the dance floor,” Renly said viciously, smirking when Loras winced and looked away.

“Don’t,” he warned. When he looked back at Renly, he had the vulnerable look in his eyes that was so rare. “Don’t dig at me. I’m…sorry, okay? For lying. I was drunk, I…” Loras said, and took another step closer to Renly.

“You ended this relationship. You have no right to sabotage any others!” Renly yelled in Loras’ face. Loras said nothing, merely made a small wounded noise in the back of his throat. With a second’s hesitation, he surged forward and planted himself in Renly’s arms, pressed their lips together with another small noise.

It wasn’t a pleasant kiss, not at first. It was desperate, painful, with teeth clacking and Renly biting hard into Loras’ lips. They moved in tandem, stumbling over shoes in their way until they got to the couch and fell onto it. As the biting kiss continued amidst growls and grunts, they scrabbled at each other’s clothes, scratched each other’s hips and backs with blunt nails.

“Fuck me,” Loras grunted, hands running over the hair on Renly’s chest. “Please, god, fuck me. Forget Oberyn. Fuck me.” Loras begged, and maybe it was the mutual alcohol consumption, or the fact that Renly had planned to get laid and hadn’t, or that both were merely horny. While they kissed, kept stroking each other’s stomach and hips, clothes slowly coming off, they both felt a little like they tightness of their chests had eased. Renly took deep stuttering breaths, Loras gasped and blinked as if worried he was dreaming.

Both, without discussion, agreed to forget they had already broken each other’s hearts, and neither made it to the bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after, nothing has changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, fuck it's been over a year. I'm so sorry. There was grad school and full time work, which ate up 100% of my time. Then I graduated but suffered crippling depression. Plus I found two new fandoms. Anyway, I am really slow at writing, but I haven't given up on this fic yet!

Renly was smiling as he slowly woke beside Loras the next morning. The couch cushions had long formed to their combined weight, and the two were tightly entwined in the groove their bodies had created. Loras’ hair, free of product, mussed from sleep, and frizzy from static, was haloed by the sun streaming from the nearby window.  

With a slight groan, he stretched as much as he could, still smiling. Loras stirred a little in his sleep, and Renly’s heart ached. It was as if the last few weeks had not happened, as if they had turned back the clock. Their clothes were strewn about the room, Loras’ empty bottle of wine had fallen off the jostled coffee table and rolled across the floor.

Slowly, Loras awoke, blinking in the sun. He remained still for a moment, breathing deeply, and grimaced.  

“Got a headache?” Renly said, a grin in his voice. Loras sat up some, and Renly stretched more to get the ache out of his back.

“A bit, yeah. Lot of wine last night,” Loras said, his voice softer than it had been in weeks. Without another word, he stood up, pulled on whichever boxers he picked up first, and went to the bathroom. Renly sighed, ran a hand through his hair.

“So you should come back to bed! Or couch. Or we could move to the bed. Relax, Loras. It’s Sunday,” Renly said, a roguish smile on his face. He put his hands behind his head, watched as Loras returned from the bathroom. He turned on the coffee maker, and immediately set about cleaning up the living room.

“Renly, not this again. You know I hate lazing about in bed,” Loras said, grimacing as he collected the wine bottle from under the table.

“Chill out, Loras. Spend some time with me. Just an hour or two, is that so bad?” The hurt began seeping into his voice, and he rolled his eyes at Loras’ back. This was a common fight, one that had snowballed in the last months and weeks of their relationship. When they first started dating, spending the night in each other’s beds, it had merely been something amusing about the other person - occasionally marginally frustrating. As they fought more and more, the issue became bigger and bigger.

In his gut, amidst the upset stomach from the slight hangover he had, dread grew. The rose-colored glasses he’d awoken with, the dream that the two of them could return to what had been, was fading rapidly as reality set in. Loras rolled his eyes as he turned around.

“And who said I wanted to spend any time with _you_?” Loras said, snide and smirking. Renly could tell he’d meant it as a joke, but he glared, old hurt flaring, their fragile peace broken. The victorious look on Loras’ face fell almost instantly, a heavy silence falling between them.

“Nice, Loras. You practically begged me to fuck you last night, and now you can’t even stand to be in the same room as me?” Renly said, his voice tight. He sits up, arms crossed, face reddening. Moments from the previous night flash through his mind, small moments jumping out to remind him that nothing had changed.

 _They stripped each other quickly, as if this moment would disappear if they took too long. Loras unbuttoned Renly’s shirt with shaking fingers, thumbs catching on his nipples as skin was revealed. Stilling where he’d been pulling at Loras’ belt, Renly’s back arched as he gasped. Loras’ smirk remained in place until Renly scratched up his chest, leaving a scorching trail as he dragged his nails from Loras’ happy trail up to his neck._  

 _“Fuck,” Loras growled, and pulled Renly in for another fierce kiss. Grunting, Renly pulled Loras closer, pulling at his belt aggressively to get it off. The kiss was hard and biting, hiding both anger and desperate, painful desire. It took a few extra moments for Renly to get Loras’ pants open and shove them down his thighs, but he eagerly swallowed Loras’ moan with a smile._  

_“Shit, Loras, fuck. Your mouth,” Renly panted, head tilting back as Loras bit his way down his throat. Loras responded by pushing Renly’s shirt the rest of the way off his shoulders and stopping to stroke his chest._

_“Fuck me,” Loras grunted, hands running over the hair on Renly’s chest. “Please, God, fuck me. Forget Oberyn. Fuck me.” Loras was begging now, hands stroking from Renly’s bare skin down to the waistband of his tight jeans. Fingertips ghosted over the growing bulge there, and Renly let his eyes fall closed. He thrusted shallowly against Loras’ hand._

_“A-are you sure, Loras? I mean, this, us, we’re not…” he trailed off, though his words were belied by the way he wedged a thigh between Loras’ legs, pulling him closer by the hips. Hands sliding to Loras’ ass, he thrust shallowly, pulling Loras to meet him thrust for thrust until they were rutting frantically against each other._

_“Oh, Renly, darling. This part was never the problem,” Loras said, thrusting back and moving to suck a dark bruise into Renly’s neck. Renly moaned, gripping Loras’ ass tighter._

Loras sighed, loud and frustrated, bringing Renly out of memories that now seemed as ephemeral as dreams.  

“It was a joke, Renly, but of course, you’re going to be dramatic,” he said, sounding defeated. He kept moving around the room, retrieving clothes from the ground and the remnants of take out. His shoulders slumped, making him look small and young.  

“How else do you expect me to take you telling me you don’t want to spend time with me? Keep me around for when you’re lonely and horny and hate me the rest of the time, right?” Renly said, and stood up. His arms were crossed, lips pressed tightly together.  

“Renly, that’s not—!” Loras started, taking a few steps towards the Renly stood in front of.

“Save it. This was…fuck what was I thinking? Nothing has changed, has it?” His voice broke, and he turned his face away, blinking rapidly against the wetness in his eyes.

“Renly…” Loras started, but Renly merely held up a dismissive hand and stalked off, grabbing his jeans on the way and slamming the door to the bathroom behind him. He had Brienne’s number dialed before he even sat down. 

“Yes, this is Brienne’s phone, what is it?” Jaime said, groggy as he answered. Renly swore under his breath and took a deep, shaky breath.

“Fuck, Jaime, just g-give her the phone, will you? I-I c-can’t deal with – deal with you today,” Renly stuttered. There was a soft sigh on the other end of the line, and Renly heard the phone changing hands and soft words being spoken. For a moment, Renly felt a crushing sort of gratitude, the closest he’d ever come to feeling something like friendship for Jaime Lannister.  

“Okay, what’s wrong? Jaime said you sounded like a mess,” Brienne said, brisk as ever, but with that ever-present undertone of concern and kindness. There was rustling in the background, the sounds of people getting dressed. Renly tried to hold back tears, not saying anything while he tried to make his voice steady.

“I slept with him. Loras. I slept with Loras. Fuck, I…I feel like I can’t breathe. Brienne.” Embarrassingly, Renly ended his outburst with a whimper.  

For a long moment, Brienne was silent, not even breathing too loudly. “I’ll meet you at the café next door in twenty minutes,” she said. Renly merely sniffled, gave a weak-voiced affirmation, and hung up.  

For a long time, he sat in the bathroom in silence, listening to Loras move around the apartment. It wasn’t until he heard Loras retreat to their bedroom that Renly snuck out of the bathroom, put on his clothes from the night before, and left.  

By the time Renly reached the café, he was almost ten minutes late. Brienne had found a table, bought herself and Renly a coffee each. She looked up when he entered, the concern giving way to clear, gut-wrenching worry when she saw the state he was in.

Renly’s hair was a mess, mussed and unwashed. His clothes were wrinkled, and his face was blotchy. He weaved between the tables, sitting heavily down into the chair across from Brienne and burying his face in his hands.

“Tell me what happened,” Brienne said, voice soft and kind after waiting for Renly to collect himself a few moments. Renly sighed, took a sip of coffee, and images flashed through his mind.

 _“Enough foreplay,” Loras growled after a few moments of rutting against each other’s thighs like teenagers. Without saying anything else, Loras pulled Renly’s pants and underwear down past his thighs and gripped his cock tightly. Renly cursed, thrusting into Loras’ hand, then reached forward to return the favor._  

_“You’ve missed my mouth, haven’t you, Renly? Would you like me to use it?” Loras whispered softly into Renly’s ear, taking his earlobe gently between his teeth and tugging. He whimpered, pulled Loras’ pants and underwear down as well. Loras’ hand tightened around Renly’s cock, and his knees weakened._

_“Shit, Loras, shouldn’t we take this to the bedroom?” Renly said, gasping and holding tight to Loras’ hips as if to ground him in reality. From the juncture of Renly’s neck and shoulder, Loras chuckled and shook his head._

_“You’re not going anywhere.” Loras’ voice was a low growl, and with a fierce look he reclaimed Renly’s mouth in a harsh kiss. Renly felt the smirk on his face more than saw it, and then suddenly was on his back on the couch, legs bracketing Loras’ lithe body. An impish grin on his face to match and soothe Renly’s nervousness, Loras pressed their hips together, causing their cocks to slide against each other. Renly thrust blindly up against him, losing himself in the familiar slide of skin on skin, hands holding tight to Loras’ ass to pull him closer. With each thrust against each other, Renly’s hands slid closer to his entrance._

_“No fucking teasing, Ren. Fuck, I’m drunk, I’m not gonna last long,” Loras said, voice draining of smirking confidence and giving way to desperation and arousal. Without another word, Renly leaned far over the couch, fumbling around for the pocket of the jacket he’d abandoned on the floor. He pulled a packet of lube he had stored in it. With a devilish smirk, Renly slid a finger to his hole and pressed inside._

“Renly! What happened?” Brienne said sharply. He blinked and looked up at her apologetically, the blotchy redness of his face evening out into a flush of embarrassment. Brienne looked at him with kind but unforgiving eyes, as if she knew exactly what he’d been thinking of.

“Sorry, I’m just. I can’t believe I let it get to this,” Renly said, and buried his face in his hands again. With another few moments of stabilizing silence, he spoke again. “I went to one of Oberyn’s clubs last night, for his birthday. Things were going the way they always do, and Loras called me. Told me the apartment was on fire, to come home right away. I did, and I got home, and Loras was just standing there looking smug.”

“Oh, Renly. Do you really think hooking up with Oberyn is gonna heal your broken heart this time?” Brienne said, reaching across the table to take his hand. Renly pulled it back, glancing around him anxiously. Sighing, Brienne crossed her arms, choosing to look stern instead. Though awkward when they’d first met, Brienne had quickly learned that when vulnerable, Renly shut down. Over time, she’d learned how uncomfortable with physical affection he was, how unused to it.

“That’s what you got out of that? Not the fact that Loras lied and made me think he was in danger so I wouldn’t get laid? And when I got back and started yelling him, he made it about the fucking contest _he_ started. And I was so fucking mad, Brienne. I was so mad. And I started yelling at him about letting me move on, and how it wasn’t about some stupid contest it was about Oberyn and how Loras didn’t want me to be with him. And that he didn’t have any right to dictate who I saw. He…he kissed me,” Renly said, letting out the whole story in a rush while Brienne sat silently, listening.

Renly stopped there, took a sip of coffee. Brienne’s gaze pierced him, not judgmental but appraising. He didn’t look at her. Instead, he just sat, drinking his coffee and avoiding her gaze. Long moments of silence followed before she spoke again.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Keep going, Renly. What happened?” Brienne sipping her coffee. She wrung her hands, eyes darting around in the hopes of spotting a waiter. Renly needed food in his stomach, whether he realized it or not. Soon enough, the alcohol from the night before would catch up with him. Renly didn’t speak again for a few moments, just stared at his coffee and occasionally sipped.

“That’s…that’s it. We had sex. Break up sex, I suppose. Except I’m so fucking in love with him, when I woke up this morning I thought, just for a moment, that everything could be all right,” he started, his voice cracking just a little. He powered on, refusing Brienne the time to react. “And it pretty much immediately devolved into fighting and it just hit me. All at once. We’re not together anymore. And it broke my heart.”

Renly finished with a matter of fact tone, shrugged his shoulders, and finally looked up at Brienne. Though his face was emotionless on the surface, a closer look showed the cracks in his carefully crafted armor. The straight line of his mouth wobbled a little and dark circles made his handsome face seem sallow. His eyes shined with tears he wouldn’t let fall. Brienne took in his appearance, reached out and took his hand. This time, Renly let her.

_What followed seem to take both hours and last only minutes simultaneously. Renly pressed fingers inside Loras, too quick and not quite gentle enough. Loras only moaned, relished the slight burn from Renly’s thick fingers after so long without the feeling. Despite his drunkenness, Renly took a surprising amount of time teasing Loras open, dragging his fingers across his prostate slowly while Loras whimpered and tried to force them deeper._

_Despite the amount of time Renly took preparing him, Loras began begging him get a move on mere seconds after he had started. He pressed the blond further into the couch cushions, blanketed his body with his. Loras whimpered and writhed beneath him, was as radiant as he had ever been in bed._  

_"Condom?" Renly asked, pulling his fingers out slowly. Loras said nothing, just shook his head and arched against Renly. Though it would not be the first time they had had sex without a condom, it still caught Renly's breath. He didn't stop to think about it, just used the rest of the bottle of lube on his cock. Nodding, Renly positioned himself at Loras' entrance, kissed away Loras slightly pained whimper, and pressed inside slowly. They groaned in pleasure simultaneously, pressed closer together, moved their hips in tandem._

_"F-fuck, go slower. Want this to last," Loras whined. Renly had closed his eyes, thrusting hard, but now he opened them. Though he arched towards him, Loras had a look in his eyes that was close to sadness. Renly slowed down. Instead of thrusting hard and with abandon, he rocked slowly. It was sweet, and deep, and releasing a soft grunt with each thrust, Renly lost himself in it._

* * *

 

Renly took the day off work, knowing Loras would not have. Stannis had the well-known tone of disappointment in his voice when Renly called to ask for a personal day, but the relief he felt crawling into bed and watching comedies all day was well worth it.

Hours had passed when Renly heard his phone buzz from the table. With a pang of guilt, he realized he had never told Oberyn things were okay, and sure enough the text was from him.

 _Renly, please tell me everything worked out,_ it said. Renly sighed and replied.

 _No fire. Just Loras being petty. Sorry for cutting things short._ Renly did not wait for Oberyn to reply, just curled back up and went back to watching Netflix on his laptop. It was a good hour before Renly heard the phone buzz with another reply.

 _Come over tonight? I'll make you dinner,_ the text read. Renly considered it, thought about the fiery spice Oberyn cooked with, the generous glasses of wine he poured with his food. Renly had been eating burgers and take out for almost every meal.   _When_ he ate, that was. He sighed, staring at the empty text message box on his phone. They had been right—Brienne and Oberyn and Sansa and everyone. He could not get over Loras by spending a weekend in Oberyn's bed, but perhaps it was a good start.

Before he could reply, Oberyn texted him again, forcing Renly to realize he had been staring at the text message for a few minutes. _Come on, Renly. I know you haven't been eating right. I know you,_ it said. Renly sighed, poking absentmindedly at his stomach, before replying in the affirmative and making himself get up.

It only took him a few moments to get dressed, knowing that Oberyn wouldn't care whether he showed up in sweatpants or in his best suit. He shoved on dark wash jeans – not tight, but tailored – and a band tee. He tidied up the living room while waiting for an appropriate time to leave for Oberyn's apartment.

He had known the man since he was sixteen, when he'd met him on a trip to Dorne he had taken for fun one summer. He had met Oberyn in a club he'd snuck into, and something about him had caught the older man by surprise. They had spent the week together, and he'd been the first man Renly had ever been with. They had kept in touch after Renly had gone home, and Oberyn had visited him frequently. He had loved him, and Oberyn had turned out to be most of his firsts. His first time, his first love, his first heartbreak.

Somehow, along the way, Renly fell into bed with Oberyn whenever something in his life went wrong. He was always there, steady and unchanging and never quite what Renly wanted but always what he needed. Patient with Renly's desperate desire to avoid that which made him sad.

By the time Renly had finished cleaning the living room of all traces of his and Loras' night, his heart ached a little more than it had before. With a great, heaving sigh, he shut off the lights and left behind his and Loras' apartment.  

 

* * *

Oberyn opened the door with the same broad, mischievous smile he always did, and his apartment already smelled like peppers and spice. Renly followed him inside with a small, sad smile, leaning into the arm Oberyn wrapped around his waist. His apartment was warm, red-toned and opulent.  

Sometime after dinner but before Oberyn finally drew Renly into his arms and pulled him onto his California king bed, Renly sent a text to Loras.

 _Don't expect me home, staying with Oberyn tonight. Possibly for the weekend._ Perhaps it was a somewhat mean-spirited text, but Renly couldn't bring himself to care.


End file.
